Yevva - 10 Things Men Think of During Sex

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Sex Jul 13, 2020

10 Things Men Think of During Sex

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Don’t you just sometimes wish you could read minds?

What would you give to know what your man was thinking of during sex? You probably think he is fantasising about another woman or how great your body is, but chances are that he is not thinking of either of those things.

I dare say on this Beyoncé’s green earth, that men are the simplest creatures to understand, and to guess what they think of during sex is so simple it gets complicated.

What do men really think of during sex? The obvious answer would be ‘sex things’ right? Well wrong. And we think you’d be surprised!

1. Why is she not moaning?

For most men, the louder or more intense the ‘soundtrack’, the better the sex. Your man is probably putting in a lot of work and thought into getting you to moan, scream or crank up the volume.

So please, let him know.

2. How do I look?

We all have a cum face and we all hope it doesn't look like we are constipated. Your man inclusive. I mean It’s sex right? You’re supposed to look sexy while at it— or like a boss.

3. Am I hitting the right spot?

No man wants to be a bad sexual experience. And in middle of love making, your man is probably more concerned about what he is doing aznd if he is doing it right and not missing the right spots.

Pro-tip: If he is off course, you should probably let him know.

4. Nut so soon

This is probably what most men’s worst nightmares are made of— nobody wants to be the 33seconds man unless he’s a clown like Kevin Hart! Ironically, thinking of how not to nut seems to always tragically break the nuthouse. Quite insane really!

5. Can she take my Bankai?

In Animeverse, Bankai is a much stronger version of a regular fighting ability, Shikai. Typically, the sex begins at a regular and rhythmic pace and your man constantly wonders when to increase the tempo and intensity of his thrusts for heightened satisfaction.

6. Who let the dogs out?

Baha Men released this song 20 years ago and nobody has found out who really let the dogs out. Strangely enough, most men have found their minds wandering to random thoughts such as these during sex and as a bonus it does keep the nut in for a little while. Add that 20 seconds to my record please!

7. Is it time yet?

There is a time to sleep and a time to wake up, a time to eat and a time to drink, a time for missionary and a time for that cowgirl to hit the reverse. During sex, your man is probably thinking about the right time to switch to a different position. Should he go for the backshots or should he prop your legs up? These are boardroom decisions that have to be made at the speed of light!

8. Is it 442 or 433?

Thinking about football tactics in itself is an efficient tactic for men who don’t want to cum too early. Men sometimes let their minds wander off to mundane thoughts to keep from concentrating too hard on the sweet sensations of copulation lest they spray everywhere prematurely like a faulty Gatling.

9. Am I doing too much?

Same men wonder if they’re doing enough during sex, while some men wonder if they are doing too much. Every guy has heard one or two stories of people actually dying during sexual activity and no one wants to be a statistic. I mean its ok to blow backs out, but to leave her handicapped?

Oti o. Caution is for the wise.

10. The guilty rompers

Imagine a chaotic scene in a TV drama where the woman walks in on her partner with another chick... SMH. This one is for the guilty rompers. Cheating men always imagine what would happen if their partner walked in on them mid-stroking another woman. Oh, the carnage.

In conclusion, don't go overthinking your mans facial expression or blank look during sex. It is definitely not that deep!