Yevva - Shibari Bondage - An extra dash of sexy

After seeing season one of Netflix's too hot to handle, I knew I had to try out the shibari.

There are literally over 1000 different flavours of ice-cream in existence. And if something as simple as ice cream gets to have numerous variations, our relationships deserve a little bit of razzle dazzle every now and then don't you think so?

People practice shibari for a number of reasons; one of the main ones being pleasure.

It also fosters feelings of empowerment, control and submissiveness which can be appealing for many people.

Unlike many other forms of rope play, the knots of shibari are intentionally positioned at the body’s pressure points in order to give participants pleasure.

Also, the time and attention to detail it takes to perfect the knots can be sensual, meditative or even recreational for some.

The word Shibari translates to ‘to tie’ or ‘to bind’ and refers to intricate and beautiful knots and patterns used to restrain and give sensation to the body. Of course when you hear the word 'shibari' your mind automatically goes to the erotic BDSM (Bondage, discipline- or domination, sadism, and masochism) type of sexual practice.

However, do you know that Shibari was not built for anything close to sexy time? Quite the opposite actually.

Shibari originated in Japan and was called Hojo-jutsu, a traditional martial practice used in the Edo period (1600 to the mid-1800s) by the Samurai to arrest and restrain prisoners.

Prisoners were publicly shamed by being displayed while bound by ropes, before execution or imprisonment.

Hojojutsu died away at the end of the Edo period and morphed into erotic bondage called Kinbaku-: which translates to 'the beauty of tight binding' which has thankfully found its way into several bedrooms all over the world.

As relationships grow old, things get boring and monotonous and you might as well put the nail in the coffin if all you do is the vanilla stuff.

And by trying out other flavours, I mean styles, positions and such. Not partners.

You don't have to be into hard kinks to give Shibari a try.

However, you need to have basic ideas of what it entails.

Shibari doesn’t use many knots, and its wrapping techniques require a rope with grip.

Types of ropes to use

Hemp rope:

The best rope to use. It is soft yet strong, easy to knot and easy to use.

Linen

It is very washable and softer than hemp rope. Knots fairly easily.

Jute

It knots well and is lighter than hemp and linen, but it is weak and difficult to care for.

Cotton

Soft, easy to knot but difficult to untie. Not appropriate for suspension.

Silk

The softest of ropes, best to use if you're a beginner. However, it is quite expensive.

Start with simple styles!

There are different ways a person can be restrained during rope play. When you are just getting into it, start with the simple styles.

Wrist Shibari

https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/single-column-step-1.gif?resize=480%2C270

Legs shibari

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Chest shibari

https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/chest-harness-step-1.gif?resize=480%2C270

Here's a YouTube video of how to start shibari for beginners:

Safety for both partners

• Make sure neither one of you is claustrophobic
• Communicate your limits, abilities and experience
• Have a safe word and take it seriously.
• Pay attention to any tingling, numbness, coldness or burning in your limbs and speak up.
• Make sure there are no physical injuries or conditions that might affect the ties.
• Tie rope over large muscle groups — upper arms, thighs, chest, hips.
• Do not tie under armpits, or put knots in the back of knee, inner wrists or inner thigh. Beginners should stay away from neck ties.
• Watch where you put knots because of the possibility of nerve damage

THAT IT’S ALL ABOUT SEX

Shibari is more than just an erotic fetish, it can be used for relaxation, mental stimulation, and as a form of art, etc. Just the act of trying something new with your partner can bring you closer together and break up the mundanity many couples experience.

THAT IT’S PAINFUL OR VIOLENT

Shibari is not intended to be violent or overly painful; if there is pain it should be pleasurable and not intolerable. Communication is key and the comfort of both participants is critical.

THAT IT’S DEMEANING

Shibari and other forms of rope play should not in any way cause someone to feel disrespected or uncomfortable. Rope play should be playful, fun and enjoyable.

Most of all, before you attempt Shibari, make sure you and your partner understand both the physical and emotional risks involved and that you feel prepared to manage them.