Yevva - Should We Teach Men How to Treat Us Right or Do We Keep it Moving?

I have been itching to write on this topic since there was a recent backlash at a friend of mine on Twitter when she tweeted "You teach a man how to treat you"

It was interesting to see the responses, one of which I found particularly hilarious:

Funny to me because if you don't show someone how to love you or teach teach them the things you like, how do they know how to love you right? Treat you the way you want to be treated?

Individually, what is acceptable and unacceptable differs so, there is that responsibility of ensuring that we effectively communicate what we want and need.

I believe it is imperative that we teach our lover(s) how to treat us, but how to do so without coming off as nagging, overbearing or just controlling is where the question lies.

I have put together a list of 7 tactics you could try to tell your man just how to love on you

1. Manage your expectations

Starting out with a black hat on this one because it is important to get the not so sweet aspect out of the way.

Patience on your part and practice on his side is needed. Also, the possibility of him deciding not to stay is inevitable, which eventually boils down to the evergreen question "a relationship at the cost of you, or making room for the future relationships that you deserve?”

Adulthood is really all about choices.

2. You First

What you believe about yourself, how you treat yourself, sets the standard for others on how you demand to be treated. People learn how to treat you based on what you accept from them.

Self awareness also has a huge role to play in this because these are the important questions you'll have to answer; What do you value? What do you want? What do you think you deserve?

You can't change a person, but you sure can change how they relate with you.

3. Take it Easy

You want to teach them how to love you; physically, mentally, emotionally etc Not order pizza from Dominos. So ease up a little bit, be sweet, be vulnerable, be true.

You can't expect Mr new guy to suddenly fall in line because you've listed out a long list of do's and don'ts. You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.

Be patient as it is like breaking into new shoes. It takes some time, so yeah again, just take it easy`````.

4. Your Instruction Manual

Everyone has this and everyone needs to exchange this at some point in a relationship or friendship.

A huge misconception is expecting everyone to know how to treat us right, when the truth is, not everyone was raised right.

Have the conversation, state what works for you and if he can't keep up, keep it moving?

5. The Triple C (Communicate clearly and compassionately)

In a situation whereby a person is willing to get it right with us, it is important to always speak in a clear and concise manner to help them understand how you wanted to be treated.

Silent treatments and other emotional and mental defensive mechanisms should never be a part of your relationship. They are as toxic as toxic gets

No matter how hard it gets, always communicate.

6. Be a reflection of your expectations

This is the golden rule "treat people how you want to be treated"

You have to treat him like you want to be treated- model who you want him to be. It is really that simple.

"Be the person you want others to be"

7. Express Appreciation

Recognise and commend efforts. Of course, some of these efforts are supposedly what should be the "norm" but then, like I said earlier, "not everyone was raised right" and if they are willing to do right by you, appreciating such effort like commenting or acknowledging in admiration or thanks stands as an act of encouragement for them to be more and better.

In conclusion, create a personality board worth emulating, drawing influences or inspiration from people or persons who demand the same quality of respect as you do and have the strong sense of worth you crave is important.

You'll be amazed at how efficient this is