Yevva - The Psych Behind Feminine Jealousy (Do Women Really Hate Each Other?)

African women laughing.

Culture Jul 09, 2021

The Psych Behind Feminine Jealousy (Do Women Really Hate Each Other?)

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Standing at the crossroad of "Do women prefer male companions as buddies?" or "Do they prefer female buddies?". One thought also strikes me "Do women really hate each other?"

This thought gets further conflicting when you get into the virtual space and see the unison on matters of equal rights and women empowerment but discord in arguments especially on issues of passion and physical comparison (BBNaija Reunion for example)

I have also seen and heard statements like "I'll rather be alone than have female friends" "female bosses are the worst" etc.

So, this brings to question, What might be the problem? Or is there even a problem? What is "Feminine Jealousy"?

Feminine Jealousy is a term I coined to properly define the idea that females are predominantly associated with the emotion "Jealousy" which is also seen as a reflection of "weakness" or "desperation".

From personal research, jealousy biologically programmes each gender differently; with men thriving and bonding through competition while women fiercely compete in a form of indirect aggression.

(With reference to Dr. Tracy Vaillancourt, psychology professor at the University of Ottawa, Canada).

CHALLENGES

Projections

Every human being has a dark side and projects their insecurities, unresolved trauma etc. on undeserving people. Which is why some points and arguments on the notoriety of the female gender is valid. However, we can't deny in this context, it could also be as a result of an inferiority or superiority complex or simply put - a self-esteem issue.

Fashion/Ego Battles

We threw a vote poll on our Instagram page to find out who ladies dress up for. Here's the result.

Personally, when I look good, I automatically feel good and all of that goodness fuels my confidence.

My concern however, is the unfortunate or tensed cases of "May the best lady win" or a "Shit on em" fiasco.

I mean no one myself included, can deny the showstopping effect that happens, when a good looking well dressed lady walks into a room. Sometimes, if we're been truthful there might even be a tinge of envy.

Which is cool but not so much when it becomes a downward spiral of negative mental comparison and self depreciation that metamorphizes into vile action.

Emotional Immaturity

If women ruled the world, there will be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.

- anonymous

I should probably have started with, this but let's assume "I saved the best for the last". The above quote sums up everyone's belief about women; petty, backbiting, jealous, etc.

Regardless of gender, we are all emotional beings with psychological differences; all thanks to societal construct, expectations and imposed culture. Women are allowed to more be more sensitive and are prone to show that sensitivity.

Self-control is very important but the lack of it shows emotional immaturity.

Not every situation requires a reaction. Sometimes it is easier to forgive than keep malice.

#spreadlove

SOLUTION & TREATMENT

The only prescription suitable for this situation is self awareness.

It would also be a great opportunity for me to highlight the fact that awareness isn't limited to only the "spiritual but, also the physical, mental, emotional and financial".

In this particular case however is the need for emotional intelligence.

This particular point is so important because it plays out in all human connection; personal, romantic and platonic.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is regardless of where you came from, I am strongly against the notion that women hate themselves. So, whoever started this agenda, "better luck next time".