Yevva - Why Your Partner is Uncomfortable With Your male Friends

African man in a black tshirt

Culture Aug 09, 2020

Why Your Partner is Uncomfortable With Your male Friends

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More than a handful of women struggle to understand why their partners are not comfortable with their male friends and wonder what’s so bad about having a close friend of another gender when the relationship is largely platonic.

Personally, I don’t see any problem with my woman having male friends (when I do have a woman), I’ll be sure to encourage her to cultivate healthy friendships with anyone of her choosing as long as they remain without the complicated strings of sexual or emotional attachment irrespective of their gender.

Anyway, let’s talk about you and your man shall we?

Why isn’t he comfortable with your male friends? Sometimes, it’s hard to imagine what goes through a person’s mind when they show certain insecurities or reflect some premeditated biases- especially when they are unfounded.

But are they really unfounded though?

a black and white picture of a man staring at his reflection in the mirror

A few men shared some insight into what they think about their partner’s male friends. 7 of the 10 men we spoke to believe there’s a palpable cause for alarm when their woman gets too close to a particular male friend.

Call it male ego or _insert psychological terminology here _ But when your partner starts entertaining other people with as little as a modicum of affection or attention, it stirs up the broth in the ever present steaming pot of jealousy.

Wouldn’t you be jealous too or a tad bit insecure?

Sometimes, it doesn’t matter that you insist your bestieship with that guy is entirely platonic, your man would still rather you bestie him or any of your other numerous female friends. And why?

It’s simple. We live in a society where men are wired to live for the chase and women are taught to savour and enjoy the attention the chase brings. Your man knows this, so every other man that gets close enough to give and constantly get your attention is a visible threat to him.

Hard life but the game is the game!

One of the men categorically rejected the idea saying;

what does she need a male best friend for when I’m supposed to be her best friend

His explanation is “from just friends it always leads somewhere else. That’s how your babe will come and tell you she cheated and it’s a mistake.”

Is this to say that being in a romantic relationship means cutting off your male friends? Absolutely not! That would be utterly ridiculous to put it mildly.

However, as with everything in life, balance is key. One of the men stated;

It all boils down to trust at the end of the day. My girlfriend has guy friends she’s close to and I don’t think that’s a problem at all

A sentiment echoed by his two other compatriots.

It is wisdom to establish safe boundaries that your partner can recognise between you and your male friends. This way, there is a clear balance in how you interact with your guy friends and how they also interact with you.

This in turn helps your relationship grow with more trust and mutual understanding - except you’re dating an asshole!

In which case you need to japa!